Should I Forgive My Partner For Cheating? | Moving On

Question of the day: “I caught my partner cheating on me. Now what?”

Ladies and gentlemen! How do you feel about cheating? Is cheating normal? Wrong? An option?… By the way, how would you handle your partner cheating on you? What should one do in these situations? Should you forgive your partner for cheating?

First of all, what do you consider cheating? Let me put it like this: if relationships were contracts, then “cheating” would be the violation of the agreement terms.

Should I Forgive My Partner For Cheating?

the other woman: should I forgive my partner for cheating?
Still from “The Other Woman” (2014)

Staying After Cheating

Personally, I never understood why someone would forgive a cheater. Yet, we’ll know someone that did. Look at Beyoncé and Jay-Z. First of all, why would anyone ever cheat on Beyoncé? Second, why did Beyoncé forgive Jay-Z? Only God knows. However, there are many women and men like Beyoncé: people that decided to stay with a cheater. Let me take back what I said before, Beyoncé took Jay-Z back but I’m not sure if she really forgave him.

If you decide to forgive your partner’s infidelity, what does it say about you? Is it weakness or strength? I guess it all depends the reasoning behind your decision. However, let’s not be too kind to cheaters. If they cheated, that’s because they wanted to. It’s not like an “oops”. They had an intent to cheat. Now, back to decision of forgiving a cheater. Well, there are many legitimate reasons to forgive your partner for cheating. But there’s one scenario where you cannot take your partner back: when the cheater tries to convince you that it was your fault. Lies. People need to be accountable for their own actions. If your partner tries to pin you as the reason why they “misbehaved”, then let them go. At this point they don’t love you or respect you. In addition, they have no self-respect.

Forgiving An Affair

As I said before, it’s also a legitimate decision to forgive your partner. However, how does one survive infidelity? Where can you find the strength to forgive your partner after an affair? You see, trust is like a mirror, once broken you’ll never look at it the same way again.

Forgiving is different from forgetting. One is about finding closure, the other is about denial. Either way, it’s tough. In addition, there isn’t really much the cheater can do to make you feel better. As a matter of fact, the last thing you want to hear is why they did it. And it’s okay for you to feel less empathetic towards your partner. Do you know why? Because what they did was wrong. It’s morally wrong to deceive someone. Period.

Most cheaters will never admit the devastating impact of their actions. Having said that, the act of cheating is very selfish to say the least. So, once a cheater, always a cheater? Most likely. You know why? It takes a very specific type of person to commit these kind of selfish acts. Who are we exactly talking about? Inconsiderate, self-centred people. That’s right, these people have absolutely no regards about how their actions impact other people’s lives.

As I said before, it’s okay to take a cheater back. However, deception might happen again. Can you accept that possibility? If you can, then you should try to forgive your partner. But then again, why would you choose to stay with a cheating partner? As I see it, infidelity really puts you to the test. It challenges everything you knew about your partner and yourself.

Moving On After Cheating

How long does it take to get over cheating? Forgiveness needs to come from your heart, not your mouth. You cannot hold his past indiscretions against him. Think about, that’s like blackmail. If you want to be in a healthy relationship, you can’t use your partner’s past mistakes as “weapons” against him. It’s also unfair for the other person. Why? What if they are really trying to move on? What if they’re trying to become better people? It’s a small possibility, but what if it’s true?

If you can’t get over the infidelity, then it’s better to call it quits. Don’t even think about getting back at your partner. What’s the point? If you’re having revengeful thoughts, then it’s already over. Do yourself a favour: set yourself free and walk away. Whatever happens to your former partner, it’s none of your business any more.

As you can see, the decision of forgiving your partner for cheating is completely up to you. However, one thing is certain: moving on from cheating is hard. No one ever comes unscathed from it.