Couples are not the only ones breaking up or growing apart. That can happen to friends too. We know exactly what to expect when a romantic relationship ends, but what about friendships? I’m sure most you have at least one friend who you are unsure about the status of your relationship. So… what happened?
Sometimes the simplest explanation is the correct one: you’ve changed. Your own individual personalities was probably the thing that bonded you two together. However, when you changed some of the elements, you also changed the chemistry. If you look closely, friendships are a lot like romantic relationships. There is always someone who “wants it” harder than the other. By the way, there’s absolutely no shame if you are the one who wants it more.
Now… let’s talk about the different type of friendship “breakups”. There are a few common scenarios that I would like to present.
The Circumstantial Breakup
Sometimes friendships are formed under very specific circumstances. When those cease to exist, there’s a slight chance for that friendship to “end” as well. For instance, this happens a lot to friendships that are formed in the workplace. Remember your very first job? All those people that you’ve met… Considering the fact that you are no longer in the company, how many of them would you still invite for an intimate dinner? Back in the day, all those people that you clicked with were just there. Now… they are not. What are they now? Sometimes, distance can be indeed a game changer for relationships.
Friends or Frenemies?
When you first met, everything was cool. Call me sexist, but I believe this happens mostly among girls/women. Ladies… How would you feel if your BFF gets a better job, a more handsome boyfriend and on top of that, gets complimented all the time for her beauty? Would you be jealous? Or would you feel really proud for having such an “amazing” friend? People don’t like to talk about it, but jealousy among friends is real. Personally, if someone felt jealousy (the hateful kind) towards me, I wouldn’t even consider them as friends. True friends wish the best for their friends.
There’s Someone Else…
Friends shouldn’t be mutually exclusive. No, this is not what I’m talking about. Sometimes there’s only one person that can come between you and your friend — their significant other. It shouldn’t be like that, but there’s some people who tend to temporarily “forget” their friends to spend more time with their “significant other”. That is not cool. These so-called friends that willing to “ditch” you for their current “boo” are simply unreliable and they need to get their priorities straight. There needs to be a balance between the two.
The Ugly Fight
Some friendships just do not resist after an ugly fight. It’s okay to fight, being friends doesn’t mean you can’t have some heated fights from time to time. However, it’s equally important to recover from them as soon as possible — that shows the strength of you friendship. In my opinion, no matter how close a friendship is there should be some boundaries. Respect is everything. You can say whatever you want, but it can’t be disrespectful.
The One Sided Breakup
In my opinion, this the most “cruel” breakup of them all. There’s nothing colder than a friend silently and slowly departing from you. I mean, you see it and there’s nothing you can do. The other person will never have the guts to admit that things are just not okay. Sometimes, it’s best to let it go. As I mentioned earlier, it’s okay to be the one that wants “it” harder. At this point, you already made all the efforts to “rekindle” your friendship. Things just don’t feel right anymore. Therefore, it’s time to stop if the other person is not reciprocating.
Final thoughts? We never actually lose true friends, we only lose the ones we weren’t meant to have.